Subject: Sex (Page 30)

It's ill-becoming for an old broad to sing about how bad she wants it… but occasionally we do.

(1917 – 2010) American singer & actress
Entertainment People Sex Women

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

He was once visiting the French Quarter during a hurricane and got blown behind a dumpster.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
People Places Sex

The closest I’ve ever come to saying "no" [to a woman] is "Not now, we’re landing."

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
Sex

The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform.

(1894 – 1956) American biologist & professor
Sex

Don’t bother discussing sex with small children… they rarely have anything to add.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Children Communication Conversation Family Sex Speech

I have lowered my expectations, sexually; I don’t care what happens in bed anymore as long as I don’t make any grammatical errors.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Sex

Hey, don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

There is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can't get away.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Sex Situations

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex

There's only one thing wrong with wife swapping… you get another wife.

writer, website creator
Marriage Sex Wives

I finally just slept with my high school crush; but I swear; now he expects me to go to his graduation – like I know where I’m going to be in three years.

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Relationships Sex

Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath.

(1905 –1998) American author
Children Family Sex

I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex; last night, she called me from a motel.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Marriage Sex Speech Wives

Physics is like sex; sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.

(1918 – 1988) American physicist
Science/Weather Sex

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist
Education Intelligence Sex

There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men think, I know what I’m doing; just show me somebody naked.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Reading/Writing Sex

Sex is natural, but not if it's done right.

Sex

Luna: So then, what do you believe in?

Miles: Sex and death – two things that come once in a lifetime… but at least after death, you're not nauseous.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Sex TV/Movie Quotes

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian
Books Communication Sex

The only way to prevent prostitution altogether would be to imprison one half of the human race.

(1886 – 1961) Canadian writer, literary critic & libertarian philosopher
Sex