Subject: Sports

He can do it the hard way, get beat up for 12 rounds and end up in the hospital. Or, he can do it the easy way, get hit on the chin and go to sleep.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

He has the touch of a gay hairdresser.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

For most amateurs, the best wood in the bag… the pencil!

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

Yesterday Michael Phelps set an all-time Olympic record for most medals. Phelps has so much gold on his chest he's been asked to join the cast of 'Jersey Shore.'

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Sports

Son, nobody is half as good as Mickey Mantle.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

Turner pulls into second with a sun-blown double.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Never in the ring of human conflict have so few taken so much from so many.

American boxer
Boxing Sports Wordplay

He is the best left fielder the Cardinals have, the best center fielder they have, the best first baseman they have. He is, in short, the best ball club in St. Louis and one of the best in the world.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

I've got it made. I've got a wife and a TV set… and they're both working.

1922 – 2006) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Some of ours [umpires] is so crooked that they can lay in a berth only when the train’s making a curve.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer
Baseball Beliefs Sports

Basketball is like war in that offensive weapons are developed first, and it always takes a while for the defense to catch up.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports

I got hit in the head pretty hard. My clock ran backwards for two years.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Stevie Wonder could make one of 23 shots.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

I'm a realist. You don't enter a Volkswagen at Indy unless you know a helluva shortcut.

Boxing Sports

The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field… no, wait a minute… it’s ball one… low and outside.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The average age of our bench is deceased.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Age Baseball Old Sports

Tom.

basketball coach
Misspokements Sports

He's gonna need an industrial-strength toothpick to pick the leather out of his teeth. I'm gonna hit this man so hard he's gonna grow an Afro.

Canadian boxer
Boxing Sports

Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing – but none of them serious.

English professional boxer
Boxing Misspokements Sports

The first time I ever came into a game there [Yankee Stadium], I got in the bullpen car and they told me to lock the doors.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball New York City Places Sports

The first guy who lays a finger on this blind old man is fined fifty bucks!

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports