Subject: Sports (Page 5)

I sight down my nose to shoot, and now my nose isn't straight since I broke it. That's why my shooting has been off.

American basketball player
Appearance Basketball Body Sports

You guys don't know the difference between a football and a Mercedes-Benz.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven. Five guys standing there with their hands in the air.


Basketball Sports

Golf is my real profession – show business pays my greens fees.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Acting Entertainment Golf Sports

That’s cricket, Harry, you get these sort of things in boxing.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Boxing Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader and that puts another keg in the Cubs’ coffin.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

It couldn't have happened to a greater guy… well, yes, it could have happened to me.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

It would have been worse if we hadn't blocked the kick after Toronto's second touchdown.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I love doubleheaders; that way I get to keep my uniform on longer.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

That’s what I call the ultimate laxative.

Canadian Prime Minister of Sports
Misspokements Sports

Goaltenders are three sandwiches shy of a picnic. From the moment primitive man lurched erect, he survived on the principle that when something hard and potentially lethal comes toward you at great velocity, get the hell out of it's path.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

We’ll just have to see if they can keep this Cinderella slipper alive.

Basketball Misspokements Sports

There are three types of baseball players: those who make it happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder what happens.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

Fortunately he is 22 years old, so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Sports

The final score after eight innings is Giants 3, Padres 2.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The best way to die is to sit under a tree, eats lots of bologna and salami, drink a case of beer and blow up.

(1925 – ) American professional football player
Death Football Sports

I'm actually getting to sleep before I have breakfast.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Activities Sports

(Leo) Durocher claims he was sacked forty times (by Larry MacPhail) in his five years as Dodger manager, but I was there and I can verify only twenty-seven.

American baseball executive
Baseball Sports

I’ll bet the hardest thing about prize fightin’ is pickin’ up yer teeth with a boxin’ glove on.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Boxing Sports

Don't worry, the fans don't start booing until July.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports