Subject: Sports (Page 6)

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

I just wrap my arms around the whole backfield and peel 'em off one by one until I get to the ball carrier… him I keep.

professional football player
Football Sports

It is the best sport in the world; it's got everything – speed and tough, ugly men.

Irish rugby player
Sports

I'm not dumb enough to be a goalie.

Canadian-born American hockey player
Hockey Sports

He was the only man I ever saw who ran his own interference.

professional football player & coach
Football Sports

There are certain things you can't get back, like the elastic in your socks.

boxing trainer
Boxing Sports

Lennox Lewis has two chances of getting a rematch with McCall – no chance and slim. And slim has just left town.

(1931 – ) American boxing promoter
Boxing Sports

You might be a redneck if… you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Sex Sports

The only way you can check Gretzky is to hit him when he is standing still singing the national anthem.

Boston Bruins general manager
Hockey Sports

Sparky is the only guy I know who’s written more books than he has read.

baseball broadcaster
Misspokements Reading/Writing Sports

Magic Johnson is the best player who plays on the ground, and Michael Jordan is the best player who plays in the air.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

The fat lady might have cleared her throat, but she hasn't sung yet.

Texas Tech football coach
Football Sports

You have only two hemispheres in your brain – a left and a right side. The left side controls the right side of your body and the right controls the left half. It's a fact. Therefore, left-handers are the only people in their right minds.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Intelligence Mind Sports

Jacques Lafitte is as close to Surer as Surer is to Lafitte.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

The fans like to see Balde wear his "shirt on his sleeve."

Scottish football player
Misspokements Sports

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it's always in your face.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Old Science/Weather Sports

He is not in a union; he can carry the ball as many times as we want him to… anyway, the ball doesn't weigh that much.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

If everything were going good for him, he'd be having success.

American hockey coach
Hockey Misspokements Sports

Give Chris a finger like I did and she’ll take the whole hand.

German professional tennis player
Sports

The hockey lockout of 1994-1995 has been settled. They have stopped bickering… and can now get down to some serious bloodshed!

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Hockey Sports

The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn’t even started.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports