Subject: Sports (Page 13)

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

The Queen's Park Oval -– as its name suggests, absolutely round!

cricket commentator
Misspokements Sports

I'd have a better chance of catching flies with chopsticks.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

I’m traveling to all 51 states to see who can stop #85.

professional football player (#85)
Football Misspokements Sports

I know being a linesman is a thankless job, especially with guys like me around.

American professional tennis player
Sports

It was fun until a kid came up to me and said, “My dad says you're getting old, you're going to die, and your autograph will be valuable.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

We (the Mets) are a much improved ball club, now we lose in extra innings!

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Lady Jacks Off to Hot Start in Conference

Headlines Sports

To win in the slowest possible time.

Australian race car driver
Auto racing Sports

I'm working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything would be perfect.

(1933 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Money Sports

Part of the learning curve in Edmonton is learning to hate Calgary.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

Baseball is the only game left for people. To play basketball, you have to be 7 feet 6 inches. To play football, you have to be the same width.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Sports

The only difference between the [Phoenix] Coyotes and Days of Our Lives is that nobody has been shot on our team yet.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

I play my regulars; the only way a guy gets off the floor is if he dies.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Most of my clichés aren’t original.

football coach
Misspokements Sports

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Baseball Sports

In Montana, they renamed a town after an all-time great, Joe Montana. Well, a town in Massachusetts changed their name to honor my guy Terry Bradshaw – Marblehead.

American football player & commentator
Football Sports

Grand Prix motor racing is like Punch [magazine]. It is never as good as it was.

auto racing writer
Auto racing Sports

We need just two players to be a contender – just Babe Ruth and Sandy Koufax.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader and that puts another keg in the Cubs’ coffin.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

There are younger Aztec ruins.

sportswriter & newspaper columnist
Age Baseball Old Sports