Subject: Sports (Page 13)

Kent Abbott is in the on-deck circuit.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Malaprops Sports

The best thing about baseball is that you can do something about yesterday tomorrow.

Venezuelan baseball player
Baseball Sports

The goal is too small and the goalies are too big.

Canadian hockey coach
Hockey Sports

Retire to what?… I'm a golfer and a fisherman; there's nothing to retire to.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

When you lose your hands, you can’t play baseball.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

A tap-in is a putt that is short enough to be missed one-handed.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

Yes, and I also like jumping out of tall buildings.

American hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

Every time I look up, it seems we're punting.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Don’t they realize that if God took sports seriously he never would have created George Steinbrenner.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
God Sports

I love my dad… he used to be a professional wrestler in Mexico, so, it was cool growing up with him ’cause when he hit us, he didn’t really hit us.

(1976 – ) comedian
Family Fathers Sports

Every day two million Americans play tennis and one million of them lose.

American tennis player, instructor & broadcaster
Sports

Jean Alesi is 4th and 5th.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

There’ll be a man on the moon before he (Gaylord Perry) hits a home run.

(1922 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

Pudge is so old, they didn’t have history class when he went to school.

professional baseball player & broadcaster
Age Baseball Old Sports

Reporter: Who do you think is the number one player of all time?

Logan: I’d have to go with the immoral Babe Ruth.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Raise the urinals.

professional baseball player & announcer
Misspokements Sports

You can put that in one word… world class darts!

British sports commentator
Sports

When I hit Jimmy with that left it felt like when you hit a baseball and it goes right into deep field.

American boxing champion
Boxing Misspokements Sports

His potatoes kept getting cut eyes.

English boxing journalist & commentator
Boxing Sports

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax.

(1932 – 1997) newspaper columnist
Baseball Sports

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports