Subject: Sports (Page 14)

The wind always seems to blow against catchers when they’re running.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

The playoffs separate the men from the boys, and we found out we have a lot of boys in our dressing room.

Canadian hockey general manager

Do I have to know rules and all that crap? Then forget it.

professional golfer

And now Jacques Laffitte is as close to Surer as Surer is to Laffitte.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator

I’m going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time.

professional football coach

My handicap is that I don’t have a big enough beer cooler for the back of my golf cart.

professional football player

Managing a baseball team is like trying to make chicken salad out of chicken shit.

American baseball player

If I'd known I was going to pitch a no-hitter today, I would have gotten a haircut.

professional baseball player

Playing football in the morning is like eating cabbage for breakfast.

Sugar: Water polo? Isn’t that terribly dangerous?

Junior: I’ll say. I had two ponies drown under me.

(1925 – 2010) American film actor

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it's always in your face.

(1940 – ) professional golfer

Yeah… it’s called defense, I mean I wouldn't know anything about it personally but I've heard about it through the grapevine.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

He told me just to keep the ball low.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer

Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf… I think it was my ex-wife.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist

A woman will be elected president before Wade Boggs is called out on strikes.

(1953 – ) American baseball player

I thought I would have a quiet pint … and about 17 noisy ones.

British rugby player

If I was earning £1 a race, I'd still be a racing driver – just a poor one.

British auto racer

Reporter to Brett Hull: If you were a tree, what kind of a tree would you be?

Hull: Shoe

Canadian-born American hockey player

Lady Jacks Off to Hot Start in Conference

I was so bad, I couldn’t have driven Miss Daisy home.

baseball player

Our system of forechecking is to shoot the puck and leave it there.

Canadian hockey coach, general manager & commentator