Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Sports
(Page 14)
I think they just got through marinating the greens.
‘Yogi' Berra
(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Golf
Sports
Yogi-isms
After playing poor golf
That’s what I call the ultimate laxative.
Otto Jelinek
Canadian Prime Minister of Sports
Misspokements
Sports
After riding the luge down the Winter Olympics course
The fans now, with their eyes pierced on the dart board.
Sid Waddell
English sports commentator
Misspokements
Sports
Darts
We told Stanley Roberts to go on a water diet, and Lake Superior disappeared.
Pat Williams
(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Basketball
Sports
Water diet
And he’s done that in a whisker under 10 seconds, call it 9.7 in round figures.
Murray Walker
(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing
Misspokements
Sports
I've thrown or broken a few clubs in my day. In fact, I guess at one time or another I probably held distance records for every club in the bag.
Tommy Bolt
(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf
Sports
Throwing clubs
The only sport where you can spend an arm and a leg to break an arm and a leg.
Henry Beard
(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of
National Lampoon
)
Activities
Health
Sports
Skiing
If a coach starts listening to the fans, he ends up sitting next to them.
Johnny Kerr
professional basketball player & coach
Basketball
Sports
Coaches
Fans
George Foreman can knock down an oak tree, but oak trees don't move.
Angelo Dundee
American boxing trainer
Boxing
Sports
Referring to Muhammad Ali
All those football coaches who hold dressing-room prayers before a game should be forced to attend church once a week.
‘Duffy’ Daugherty
(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Beliefs
Sports
Church
Coaches
Prayer
The pads don't keep you from getting hurt. They just keep you from getting killed.
Chad Bratzke
American football player
Football
Sports
I told my team it doesn't matter… there are 750 million people in China who don't even know this game was played. The next day, a guy called me from China and asked, 'What happened, Coach?
John McKay
(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football
Sports
Following a 51-0 loss
Losing the Super Bowl is worse then death… you have to get up in the morning.
George Allen
(1918 – 1990) football coach
Football
Sports
Super Bowl
The Chicago Cubs are like Rush Street – a lot of singles, but no action.
Joe Garagiola
(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Baseball
Sports
Chicago Cubs
Richards swings, the ball bounces foul and hits him in the head… no harm done.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game would be played far better than it is.
Horace Hutchinson
golf author
Golf
Sports
Profanity
Gretzky knows it time to retire now — he's finally slow enough to get hit by Luke Richardson.
Les Bowen
American sportswriter
Hockey
Sports
Wayne Gretzky
Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Marvelous oriental pace he's got, just like a Buddhist statue.
Harry Carpenter
British sports commentator
Boxing
Misspokements
Sports
The niblick, with its heavy head of iron, is a capital club for knocking down solicitors.
Anonymous
Golf
Sports
Golf clubs
Niblick
Hockey is the original extreme sport.
Tom Ward
American hockey player
Hockey
Sports
Page 14 of 125
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