Subject: Sports (Page 26)

If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Insults Sports

It shows what you can accomplish if you stay up all night drinking whiskey all the time.

Restaurant owner
Baseball Sports

Going into a game against Lew Alcindor [later Kareem Abdul-Jabbar] is like going into a knife fight and finding there's no blade in your handle.

basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Football is easy, if you're crazy as hell.

American football player
Football Sports

Handicapped Golfer: The man playing his boss.

Definitions Golf Sports

They can say what they want, but playoff hockey is a whole other ballgame.

Hockey Misspokements Sports

His detractors faulted him for over managing and for giving more signs than the Coast Guard.

baseball writer
Baseball Sports

God invented football so grown men would have something to do between wars.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Conflict Football Sports War

The way to make coaches think you’re in shape in the spring is to get a tan.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

We’ve got to find a way to win; I’m willing to start cheating.

professional football player
Misspokements Sports

Winning is always fun, but the car is more important.

Finnish hockey player
Hockey Sports

Jay Bell is 0-for-6 in this series with 10 homers and 52 RBIs.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Winning is better than the next worse thing.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Basketball Sports

He won the bronze medal in the 1976 Olympics so he’s used to being out in front.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

If Lew could cook, I’d marry him.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Golf Sports

The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I'm the best heavyweight in Canada and I'll still be the best when I'm dead seven years.

Canadian boxing champion
Boxing Canada Places Sports

My theory of hitting was just to watch the ball as it came in and hit it.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now.

motor racing commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports