Sports | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Sports (Page 26)

These ball boys are marvellous; you don’t even notice them; there’s a left-handed one over there that I noticed earlier.

Max Robertson

Tennis commentator

We are in such a slump that even the ones that aren’t drinkin’ aren’t hittin’.

Casey Stengel

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

Alcohol Baseball Food/Drink Sports

Virginia has already spent more on plugging Shawn Moore for the Heisman Trophy than Thomas Jefferson spent getting elected president.

'Beano' Cook

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

Activities Football Government Money Sports Heisman Trophy

George Halas throws nickels around like man hole covers.

Mike Ditka

(1939 – ) American football player & coach

Football Sports On Bears’ owner George Halas

One of the worst things that can happen to you in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age.

Danny McGoorty

American billiards champion & hustler

Activities Sports Betting Gambling Horse races

To last as long as I did with the skills I had, with the numbers I produced, was a triumph of the human spirit.

Bob Uecker

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor

Baseball Self Sports Career

When we played, World Series checks meant something; now all they do is screw up your taxes.

Don Drysdale

American baseball pitcher & announcer

Baseball Money Sports

When I'm on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo.

Al Hrabosky

professional baseball player

Baseball Sports Booing

Golf without mistakes is like watching haircuts.

Jim Murray

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter

Golf Sports

I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.

Winston Bennett

professional basketball player & coach

Misspokements Sports

To get my paycheck for two weeks, my family must work 200 years in Slovakia.

Pavol Demitra

Slovak hockey player

Hockey Sports On his 1.1 million dollar salary

This is good because up until now, the only channel to find 24-hour coverage of the NFL players was Court TV.

Conan O'Brien

(1963 – ) television host & comedian

Entertainment Football Television On the NFL starting its own cable network

People have asked me a lot of times, because I didn't hit a lot, we all know that, how long a dozen bats would last me?… depending on the weight and the model that I was using at that particular time I would say eight to ten cookouts.

Bob Uecker

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor

Activities Baseball Sports Bats

I know I've got a lock on the Dutch Hall of Fame.

Bert Blyleven

Dutch-born American baseball pitcher

Baseball Places Sports Dutch

Everything Tyson's got has 'goodnight' written on it.

Mills Lane

American boxing referee

Boxing Sports Mike Tyson

The only difference between this and Custer's last stand was Custer didn't have to look at the tape afterwards.

Terry Crisp

Canadian hockey player & broadcaster

Hockey Sports After a 10-0 loss

Well I don't know which one has more money but I'll tell you what… either one could burn a wet mule with hundred dollar bills.

Buddy Baker

American auto racer

Auto racing Money Sports Wealth On Rick Hendrick and Felix Sabates

Since I've retired, I eat less, weigh less, train less and care less.

Ray Mancini

American boxing champion

Boxing Sports

All the records were gone. So I figured here's one record I can get.

Robert Dirk

Canadian hockey player

Hockey Sports After getting the first instigator penalty in Anaheim Mighty Ducks history

Baseball is drama with an endless run and an ever-changing cast.

Joe Garagiola

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host

Baseball Sports

We’ve got to find a way to win; I’m willing to start cheating.

Marv Cook

professional football player