Subject: Sports (Page 58)

Five days shalt thou labour, as the Bible says. The seventh day is the Lord thy God's. The sixth day is for football.

(1917 – 1993) British composer & novelist
Football Sports

Pete Rose has three thousand hits and three thousand fourteen overall.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Golf Sports

The Lord taught me to love everybody, but the last ones I learned to love were the sportswriters.

(1922 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Occupations Sports Work

He scored hockey by the number of fights. If you lost seven to one, but won five fights, he figured you won the game.

Canadian businessman, sportsman & owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

Emotion is highly overrated in football. My wife Corky is emotional as hell but can't play football worth a damn.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Emotions Football Sports

The Bears aren't very genteel; some teams tend to remove the football from you, the Bears remove you from the football – it's much quicker.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Football Sports

What’s one more torpedo in a sinking ship?

American football player
Football Health Sports

Oral sex should be an Olympic sport because it’s harder than curling, and if you’re good at it, you deserve a medal.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Sex Sports

When they list the great things of the 20th Century, they’ll say, penicillin, Sophia Loren, jet travel and ESPN.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Entertainment Sports Television

I’ll be sad to go, and I wouldn’t be sad to go; it wouldn’t upset me to leave St. Louis, but it would upset me to leave St. Louis; it’s hard to explain. You’ll find out one of these days, but maybe you never will.

Canadian-born American hockey player
Misspokements Sports

You don’t like to see hookers going down on players like that.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator
Misspokements Sports

Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

Retire to what?… I'm a golfer and a fisherman; there's nothing to retire to.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

Eric Show will be oh-for-ten if that pop fly comes down.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

We've got to learn to stay out of triple plays.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Football is a game played with arms, legs and shoulders but mostly from the neck up.

(1888 – 1931) American football player & coach
Football Sports

I was like a pig with a wristwatch.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Sometimes you think they must have come out of the chimp cages at the Bronx zoo.

Canadian hockey goalie & coach
Hockey Sports

One of the finest sights in the world: the other man's ball dropping in the water – preferably so that he can see it but cannot quite reach it and has therefore to leave it there, thus rendering himself so mad that he loses the next hole as well.

British golf writer & commentator
Golf Sports

Hockey is a sport for white men; basketball is a sport for black men; golf is a sport for white men dressed like pimps.

professional golfer
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports