Subject: Sports (Page 72)

On fishing shows they always throw the fish back; they don’t want to eat them, they just want to make them late for something.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Sports

What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?

English football player, manager & sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Situations Sports

You guys lineup, alphabetically by height.

football coach
Misspokements Sports

We raced the other day and it wasn't a photo finish… it was an oil painting.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

And there’s no damage to the car… except to the car itself.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Misspokements Sports

It's easy to stay in the majors for seven and a half years when you hit .300; but when you hit .216 like me, it's really an accomplishment.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

I don't like them fellas who drive in two runs and let in three.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

It’s just a job; grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand… I beat people up.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

Peter McNeeley dived in with overarm shots like a child hurriedly learning the doggie paddle in the deep end.

(1944 – ) British sportswriter
Boxing Sports

You don't have to be a Harvard professor to manage baseball; in fact, I think you're better off having an IQ like mine.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Baseball Intelligence Sports

We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital. 

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

More than anyone else, he's (Hank Aaron) made me wish I wasn't a manager.

American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

I think Jessel’s philosophy about golf was something like: If all you’re going to do is chase the ball, why hit it in the first place?

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Golf Sports

We need three kinds of pitching: left handed, right handed, and relief.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

(He) simply lost that sun-blown popup.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I would order a dozen bats and there were times they’d come back with handles at each end.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

Gonzo leaps like a giraffe and grabs it.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Welcome to Worcester where we have just seen Barry Richards hit one of Basil D'Oliveira's balls clean out of the ground.

cricket announcer
Misspokements Sports

One hundred years of experience has demonstrated that the game is temporary insanity practiced in a pasture.

American sports journalist
Golf Sports

Probably the best thing that happened to me was going nuts. Nobody knew who I was until that happened.

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder
Baseball Health Sports