Subject: Sports (Page 83)

An hour after the game, you want to go out and play them again.

(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach
Baseball Sports

You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other golfers will refuse to stop and be witnesses, because they will want to keep playing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Golf Sports

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

With two laps to go then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf

Tell you what, you keep the salary and I'll keep me the cut.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

You might be a redneck if… you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Sex Sports

I went skiing last week and broke a leg… fortunately it wasn’t mine.

Sports

He is the best left fielder the Cardinals have, the best center fielder they have, the best first baseman they have. He is, in short, the best ball club in St. Louis and one of the best in the world.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

The weak teams are Boston and New York; the strong ones are Toronto, Chicago, Montreal, and Gordie Howe.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

I'll decide when to write my own obituary.

English cricketer
Misspokements Sports

If I’m half the coach on the bench that I was in the stands, we’ll have no problems.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

What makes him unusual is that he thinks he's normal and everyone else is nuts.

American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Don’t park in the spaces marked, “Reserved for Umpires.”

professional baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

I told him I wasn’t tired; he told me, ‘No, but the outfielders sure are.’

professional baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

You can talk to a fade but a hook won’t listen.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

We've got a problem here. Luis Tiant wants to use the bathroom, and it says no foreign objects in the toilets.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

We have a lot of success with a dumb person calling plays. I'm hesitant to have a smart one call them.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports

Give blood. Play hockey. 

Hockey Sports

I accept the fact that I'm going to miss it sometimes. I just hope I miss it where I can find it.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Some guys play hockey… Gretzky plays 40 mph chess.

American sportswriter
Hockey Sports