Subject: Sports (Page 83)

A sports expert is the guy who writes the best alibis for being wrong.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist

They whipped us like a tied up goat.

Texas Tech football coach

Behind every good decathlete, there's a good doctor.

American Olympic decathlon champion

I'd have been more active in there, if only I'd been a little more sober.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor

Kid, don't be messing around with my money.

(1922 – 2007) American baseball player & manager

Sooner or later, the lame, the halt, and the blind all seek refuge with us.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter

Pitching always beats batting — and vice-versa.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.

football coach

That boy couldn't hit the ground if he fell out of an airplane.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy.

American basketball coach

My golf is improving… yesterday I hit the ball in one!

Yeah, I regret we weren't on a higher floor.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

If I ever need a heart transplant, I want his [Bobby Knight’s]… it’s never been used.

American basketball coach

All I had to do is keep turning left!

auto racer

The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic

This type of injury is very painful. Especially when it hurts.

Canadian hockey coach

I didn’t hear him because my two Stanley Cup rings were plugging my ears.

Canadian ice hockey goaltender

If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion

Ron Guidry is not very big, maybe 140 pounds, but he has an arm like a lion.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

And the first five places are filled by five different cars.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator

It ain’t over ’til it’s over.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager