Subject: Sports (Page 85)

Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? … he went to prison for three years, not Princeton.

(1922 – ) boxing trainer & manager
Boxing Intelligence Sports

Many continentals think life is a game, the English think cricket is a game.

(1912 – 1987) Hungarian-born British author
Sports

Every five years, a man has to change his Sox.

professional baseball player & broadcaster
Baseball Sports

I wouldn’t play the French at marbles, never mind Rugby League. All we will ever learn off them is how to fight and spit and bite each other.

Rugby coach
Sports

The champion, Jess Willard, had about as much chance in this fight as a dish-faced chimpanzee in a beauty contest.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Boxing Sports

The Bears aren't very genteel; some teams tend to remove the football from you, the Bears remove you from the football – it's much quicker.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Football Sports

If a coach starts listening to the fans, he ends up sitting next to them.

professional basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child; just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Golf Honesty Insults Intelligence Sports

If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Arms Sports

That home run ties it up, 1-0.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Racing is 99 per cent boredom and one per cent terror.

Australian auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Let’s stop the startwatch.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Misspokements Sports

Sure, the home-field is an advantage — but so is having a lot of talent.

(1961 – ) American football player
Football Sports

Detroit fans don't know anything about baseball. They couldn't tell the difference between baseball players and Japanese aviators.

American baseball player, manager & scout
Baseball Sports

And Britain defeats the rest of the world to pick up the bronze medal.

Misspokements Sports

Before the first Tyson fight, Frank Bruno figures to be the biggest British disaster since the Titanic. Las Vegas will bet you even money Bruno doesn't last the first round. He's 7-1 to lose, 6-1 to get knocked out, he's probably 7-5 to get killed.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Boxing Sports

You have to give 100 percent in the first half of the game; if that isn’t enough, in the second half, you have to give what’s left.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

A tie is like kissing your sister.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Sports

What goes up must come down.  But don't expect it to come down where you can find it.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Golf Sports

I asked my doctor how many more years I have left and he said, 'You're too ornery to die.'

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder
Baseball Death Sports