Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Success
(Page 10)
To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
Peter Ustinov
(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Success
Awards
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
Jack Benny
(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Health
Success
Arthritis
Award
The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that is the way to bet.
Damon Runyon
(1990 – 1946) newspaperman & writer
Activities
Success
Betting
Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.
Boyle’s Tenth Law
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Contingency plans
There are five stages in the life of an actor: Who’s Mary Astor? … Get me Mary Astor… Get me a Mary Astor type… Get me a young Mary Astor… Who’s Mary Astor?
Mary Astor
(1906 – 1987) American actress
Acting
Age
Entertainment
Success
Actors
Celebrity
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Maryon Elspeth Pearson
(1901 – 1989) wife of Lester Bowles Pearson, Canadian prime minister
Men
People
Success
Women
Surprise
Success is like toilet paper; it only seems important when you don’t have it.
Richard Jeni
(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Success
Toilet paper
The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at the major league level.
Chuck Lamar
professional baseball player & executive
Misspokements
Sports
Success
It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
Robert Benchley
(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Communication
Reading/Writing
Success
Celebrity
Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence; this explains why we have so many stupid leaders.
Sloan Wilson
(1920 – 2003) American writer
Intelligence
Success
Leaders
First of all you've got to have talent, and then you've got to marry her like I did.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Characteristics
Success
Talent
Wife Gracie Allen
The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher the probability of its success.
Bartz's Law of Hokey Horsepuckery
Beliefs
Murphy’s Laws
Success
The usual drawback to success is that it annoys one’s friends so.
P.G. Wodehouse
(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Success
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
People
Success
Celebrity
Sunglasses
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
Lily Tomlin
(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Success
World
Mediocrity
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics
Success
Praise
Talent
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault.
Henry Kissinger
(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Characteristics
Success
Boredom
Celebrity
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Jane Wagner
(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer
Success
Celebrity
Specific
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a star.
Fred Allen
(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Hollywood
Places
Success
Celebrity
Iowa
Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
Doug Larson
(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
People
Success
Possibilities
Fame loses a little of its cache when you have to tell people that you have it.
Russell Brand
(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Communication
Speech
Success
Celebrity
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