Subject: Things » Autos (Page 10)

You do not need to put an Obama sticker on a Prius… we get it.


Autos Beliefs Things

Your own car uses more gas and oil than anyone else's.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

Autos Marriage Things Wives

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History

If most auto accidents happen within five miles of home, why don’t we move ten miles away?

Accidents Autos Problems Things

My wife told me she likes to have sex in the back seat of the car. I drove her and that guy around all night.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Sex Things

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Things

The better the four-wheel drive, the further away you'll be when you get stuck.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things

Traffic Light: A trick to get pedestrians halfway across the street safely.

Autos Definitions Things

I took my headlights out and put strobe lights in; now when I drive at night it looks like I am the only one that is moving.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Things

There is no traffic until you need to make a left turn.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws