TV/Movie Quotes | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 58)

Women Liberteens

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

[breaks wind at a dinner] Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?

Rodney Dangerfield

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Al Czervik in “Caddyshack”

If everything is good in the henhouse, you see don’t have to go out for eggs.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Mixed metaphors TV/Movie Quotes

I didn’t hate my mother; it was an accident!

Raul Julia

(1940 – 1994) Puerto Rican actor

Mothers TV/Movie Quotes As Gomez Addams in “The Addams Family”

Africa is God's country, and He can have it.

Groucho Marx

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Places TV/Movie Quotes Africa As Captain Spaulding in “Animal Crackers”

Busty Female Shop Assistant: Is this some kind of bust?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Well… it's very impressive, yes, but we need to ask you a few questions.

Leslie Nielsen

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Lt. Frank Drebin in “The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear” Bust

Somebody… down there… likes me!

John Astin

(1930 – ) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Gomez Addams in TV’s “The Addams Family”

It’s actually tomorrow in Tokyo. Do you realize that there are people alive here in Minneapolis who are already dead in Tokyo?

Ted Knight

(1923 – 1986) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Ted Baxter in “The Mary Tyer Moore Show”

Debbie: I need to renew my passport. I’ll be leaving the country very shortly.
Passport Clerk: Will you be traveling alone?
Debbie Jellinsky: Yes, I’ll be a widow.

Joan Cusack

(1962 – ) American film actress

TV/Movie Quotes As Debbie Jellinsky in the film “Addams Family Values” Passport

Edina: What’s your New Year’s resolution Pats?
Patsy: Oh, I’ll think to just try and be more relaxed.
Saffy: You, more relaxed? What is that, dead?!

Julia Sawalha

TV/Movie Quotes As Saffron in “Absolutely Fabulous”

Leonard: Our babies will be smart and beautiful.
Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary.

James Parsons

(1973 – ) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Sheldon Cooper in “The Big Bang Theory”

It’s a magnifying mirror! Mary, why didn’t you warn me? I thought it was a relief map of the moon. When they sell those magnifying mirrors they should include a printed suicide note.

Valerie Harper

(1939 – ) American actress

TV/Movie Quotes As Rhoda Morgenstern in “The Mary Tyer Moore Show” Mirrors

According to Secret Service logs, convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff was at the White House only two times in the past fives years; of course, the real question is: was it the same two times that President Bush was there?

Tina Fey

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer

TV/Movie Quotes

Ouiser could never stay mad at me; she worships the quicksand I walk on.

Olympia Dukakis

(1931 – ) American actress

TV/Movie Quotes As Clairee Belcher in “Steel Magnolias”

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

Mae West

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Insults TV/Movie Quotes As Ruby Carter in “Belle of the Nineties”

She reminds me of Paul Revere's ride – a little light in the belfry.

Foghorn Leghorn

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)

Insults Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

One of those digitalis clocks.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes Digital

First reporter: Say, do you know anything about electricity?
S.B. Bellows: My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at State Prison.

W.C. Fields

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

TV/Movie Quotes As S.B. Bellows in “The Big Broadcast of 1938”

Some people play hard to get. I play hard to want.

Andrew Dice Clay

(1957 – ) American comedian & actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Ford Fairlane in “The Adventures of Ford Fairlane”

I've got this boy as fidgety as a bubble dancer with a slow leak.

Foghorn Leghorn

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)

TV/Movie Quotes Fidgety

Luna: So then, what do you believe in?
Miles: Sex and death – two things that come once in a lifetime… but at least after death, you're not nauseous.

Woody Allen

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Death Sex TV/Movie Quotes As Miles Monroe in “Sleeper”

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

Categories

Additional Categories

Oops...

Some Popular Authors

Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 58)

Women Liberteens

[breaks wind at a dinner] Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?

If everything is good in the henhouse, you see don’t have to go out for eggs.

I didn’t hate my mother; it was an accident!

Africa is God's country, and He can have it.

Busty Female Shop Assistant: Is this some kind of bust?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Well… it's very impressive, yes, but we need to ask you a few questions.

Somebody… down there… likes me!

It’s actually tomorrow in Tokyo. Do you realize that there are people alive here in Minneapolis who are already dead in Tokyo?

Debbie: I need to renew my passport. I’ll be leaving the country very shortly.
Passport Clerk: Will you be traveling alone?
Debbie Jellinsky: Yes, I’ll be a widow.

Edina: What’s your New Year’s resolution Pats?
Patsy: Oh, I’ll think to just try and be more relaxed.
Saffy: You, more relaxed? What is that, dead?!

Leonard: Our babies will be smart and beautiful.
Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary.

It’s a magnifying mirror! Mary, why didn’t you warn me? I thought it was a relief map of the moon. When they sell those magnifying mirrors they should include a printed suicide note.

According to Secret Service logs, convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff was at the White House only two times in the past fives years; of course, the real question is: was it the same two times that President Bush was there?

Ouiser could never stay mad at me; she worships the quicksand I walk on.

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

She reminds me of Paul Revere's ride – a little light in the belfry.

One of those digitalis clocks.

First reporter: Say, do you know anything about electricity?
S.B. Bellows: My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at State Prison.

Some people play hard to get. I play hard to want.

I've got this boy as fidgety as a bubble dancer with a slow leak.

Luna: So then, what do you believe in?
Miles: Sex and death – two things that come once in a lifetime… but at least after death, you're not nauseous.