Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 7)

You’re a bartender, y’aint a mortrician.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

I live at home with my parents. It’s just temporary … ‘til they die.

American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I have an interesting case. I’ m treating two sets of Siamese twins with split personalities. I’ m getting paid by eight people.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

How do I explain her? [her mother] She’s as respected as Mother Theresa, she’s as powerful as Stalin, and she’s as beautiful as Margaret Thatcher.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Family Mothers TV/Movie Quotes

[At the beginning of the evening] In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight.

(1967 – ) American actress & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Laundryette

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Or what, you port-brained twerp?! I’ve looked after you all my life! Even when we were babies, I had to show you which bit of your mother was serving the drinks!

(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes

A Senate committee on Thursday approved a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage, apparently forgetting that our forefathers wore wigs and satin Capri pants.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

(1928 – 1994) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I’m going to the Colonel next. I’m gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Hi ho Silverwear… Away!

(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Remember, attraction is a three-way street. Or is it a one-way tunnel?

(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

It is harder for the spider to catch a fly than it is for the fly to catch a horse.

(1928 – 1994) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

What’s all this fuss I’ve been hearing about conserving our natural racehorses?

(1946 – 1989) comedian & actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Dad, the odds of me knowing the score to the Mariners game is about the same as you knowing the score to Pacific Overtures.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Self TV/Movie Quotes

I’m so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I had.

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician
Money TV/Movie Quotes Wealth

I must run like the stocking.

(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

[on his donation of a building] I hereby dedicate this building to… myself.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Army recruiter: Have you ever been convicted of a felony or a misdemeanor? That’s robbery, rape, car theft, that sort of thing.

Ziskey: Never convicted.

(1944 – 2014) American actor, director & writer
Crime TV/Movie Quotes

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes