Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 75)

I’m not really a cab driver. I’m just waiting for something better to come along. You know, like death.

(1935 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Cooking Eating Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in Braille; I used to rub the dirty parts.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

The upper part, waddya call, the mezzarine.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Folks, I’ve just received a special news bulletin: “You have something on your front tooth.”

(1923 – 1986) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Suzanne, if sex were fast food, there’d be an arch over your bed!

(1939 – 2010) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Operator – give me the number for 911!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

It took me 20 years to memorize the deformaties of the room.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Sir, are you trying to offer me a bribe? … How much?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

But they have one great redeeming feature: their wallets! More capacious than an elephant’s scrotum, and just as difficult to get your hands on!

(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes

It’s a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

What? Over? Did you say ‘over’? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

(1949 – 1982) American comedian, actor & musician
TV/Movie Quotes

Woman: The house… looks like it’s haunted.

Morticia: Thank you.

(1930 – 1983) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Wayne Carter: Aren’t you forgetting that you’re married?

Flower Belle: I’m doin’ my best.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Elizabeth Swann: There will come a time when you have a chance to do the right thing.

(1963 – ) American actor & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Nora Charles: I read where you were shot, in the tabloids.

Nick Charles: It’s not true. He didn’t come anywhere near my tabloids.

(1892 – 1984) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Diane: And everyone knows that hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is.
Sam: Well, whatever you say. I really don’t care.

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
Love TV/Movie Quotes

Raj: 60 seconds. This is not looking good.
Sheldon: One minute is a long time.
Howard: I’ve been telling women that for 20 years.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Howard: She should quiet down soon. I gave her enough pain meds to choke a … well, her.
Leonard: And that didn’t bother you?
Howard: Au contraire. It meant that she was gullible and open to a little probing.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
TV/Movie Quotes

Christ, seven years of college, down the drain.

(1949 – 1982) American comedian, actor & musician
Education School TV/Movie Quotes