Author: Anonymous Page 123

“The lion has its head caught in the skylight,” said Tom uproariously.

Tom Swifties

Running around like children with their heads cut off

Mixed metaphors

… prostate with grief

Malaprops

Optimist: Someone who tells you to cheer up when things are going his way.

Definitions

You’d be a overweight neurotic fighter too if your name was Shirley Crabtree.

Sports

If that's something you expire to do.

Malaprops

Antique: An object that has made a round trip to the attic.

Definitions Things

Sympathizer: A fellow that’s for you as long as it doesn’t cost anything.

Definitions

It's time to grab the bull by the tail and look it in the eye.

Mixed metaphors

Florists: Petal pushers.

Definitions

Fashion: Something that goes out of style as soon as most people have one.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Critic: One quick-on-the-flaw.

Definitions Occupations

Callous: Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

Characteristics Definitions

I thought she had persisted from corresponding with him.

Malaprops

“Sesame,” said Tom openly.

Tom Swifties

Don’t cast swine before bears.

Mixed metaphors

Innocent Bystander: A person so simple-minded he doesn’t know enough to get out of the way.

Definitions

“I’m taking this ship back into harbor,” Tom reported.

Tom Swifties

“Can I become a chorister?” Tom inquired.

Tom Swifties

“I could stand to lose 50% of my body weight”, said Tom affably.

Tom Swifties

English Channel: The BBC.

Definitions Entertainment Television