Author: Anonymous Page 123

Virginity is a balloon in the carnival of life, that vanishes with the first prick.

Sex

“By convention!” cussed Tom airily.

Tom Swifties

Some folks are so highly educated they can bore you on any subject.

Education

He's as crooked as a barrel of snakes.

Expressions

Domestic Harmony: Music produced only if the husband plays second fiddle.

Definitions Marriage

“Doctor, why do you have to remove my womb?” asked Mary hysterically.

Tom Swifties

Kicking off the hockey season

Mixed metaphors

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'whose?'

Money Wealth Work

Let's make sure we're all talking off the same sheet of music.

Mixed metaphors

“Here’s your allowance for the next two weeks,” Tom advanced.

Tom Swifties

“Hey, you’re on my foot!” said Tom standoffishly.

Tom Swifties

The world is full of apathy, but I don't care.

Beliefs Opinion

Bliss: Having no idea what is really happening.

Definitions

Nursery: Bawl room.

Definitions

Just keep your eye on the pie.

Malaprops

Electrocution: Burning at the stake with all modern improvements.

Death Definitions

Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.

Communication Definitions

“It’s my maid’s night off,” said Tom helplessly.

Tom Swifties

Racehorse: A fast means of redistributing wealth.

Activities Definitions

Etiquette is the noise you don’t make while having soup.

Characteristics

He came out of it smelling like a bandit.

Mixed metaphors