Author: Anonymous Page 16

Great American: What speakers call a man when they can’t think of anything specifically complimentary to say.

Definitions

Death: A breath-taking experience.

Death Definitions

It's like ice cold electricity passing through your body.

Mixed metaphors

Old Age: When you don’t recognize either the host or the musical guest on Saturday Night Live.

Age Definitions

“I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.

Tom Swifties

We all have our own legs to pull.

Mixed metaphors

“Ouch! When I get stung, I want revenge,” said Tom begrudgingly.

Tom Swifties

Obscenity is whatever gives the judge an erection.

Law Sex

Handkerchief: Cold Storage.

Definitions Health

The ambition of every small boy is to wash his mother’s ears.

Children Family

It was so cold… the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

“I can eat one hundred and forty-four,” Tom boasted grossly.

Tom Swifties

So windy he could blow up an onion sack.

Communication Exaggerations Expressions Speech

A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he’s talking about.

Intelligence

“I’ve been to a film festival in Southern France,” said Tom cannily.

Tom Swifties

Voting: A process of standing in line for the opportunity to help decide which party will spend your money.

Definitions

The crust of the problem

Malaprops

Zeal: A nervous disorder affecting the young and inexperienced.

Characteristics Definitions

Economists are still trying to figure out why the girls with the least principle draw the most interest.

Girls People Wordplay

Those people all corregated over there.

Malaprops

Clothes Dryer: An appliance designed to eat socks.

Definitions Things