Author: Anonymous Page 88

“Life isn’t fair,” said Tom darkly.

Tom Swifties

No skin off my teeth.

Mixed metaphors

Obsolete: Any computer you own.

Computers Definitions Things

“Whenever I put on my scuba gear, I get pins and needles,” said Tom divertingly.

Tom Swifties

“Phew! I’ve just finished learning all Shakespeare’s works,” said Tom willfully.

Tom Swifties

After-Dinner Speaker: A fellow who rises to the occasion – and then stands too long.

Definitions

Hula Dancer: A shake in the grass.

Definitions

Mason-Dixon Line: A geographical division between “you all” and “youse guys.”

Definitions Places

We are just scratching the tip of the iceberg.

Mixed metaphors

“I’m losing my hair,” Tom bawled.

Tom Swifties

“This flower’s empty,” the drone said belatedly.

Tom Swifties

Keep your ear to the grindstone.

Mixed metaphors

He was bothered mentally mainly by the physical plague.

Mixed metaphors

Half the people you know are below average.

Characteristics People

I'm shooting from the seat of my pants.

Mixed metaphors

He’s a bad influenza on me.

Malaprops

I suffer from a deviant septum.

Health Malaprops

Education: Forcing abstract ideas into concrete heads.

Definitions Ideas Intelligence

Handicap: An allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

Definitions Golf Sports

His car is so expensive the radiator requires Perrier.

Autos Exaggerations Things

Ambition: Goaled rush.

Definitions