Author: Bill Maher Page 2

The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology; until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Beliefs Religion

In this country you’re guilty until proven wealthy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
America Government Law Money Wealth

Obama responded to the birthers by stating that he will show them his birth certificate when Sarah Palin shows him her high school diploma.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Situations

When I was in college, we did mushrooms and acid… and did I mention acid?

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Activities Drugs School

Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me – I quit."

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Beliefs Death God

They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Insults

Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Insults

L.A. is so celebrity-conscious, there's a restaurant that only serves Jack Nicholson – and when he shows up, they tell him there'll be a ten-minute wait.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Places Success

And for the record, all marriages are same sex marriages; you get married, and every night, it’s the same sex.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Marriage Sex Wordplay