Author: Jeff Foxworthy Page 5

You might be a redneck if… your state's got a new law that says when a couple get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Divorce Marriage People Rednecks Relationships

You might be a redneck if… your family tree doesn’t fork.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Family People Relationships

You might be a redneck if… your the tail light covers of your car are made of red tape.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if… you can get dog hair from out of your belly button.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your home has more miles on it than your car.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… anyone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y’all watch this!”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Family People Rednecks Situations

You might be a redneck if… you think the stock market has fence around it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics People Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if… your family always goes to the movies in groups of 18 or more 'cause they were told 17 and under are not admitted.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence People Rednecks Stupidity

You might be a redneck if… you ever named a child after a dog.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Children Dogs Family People Rednecks

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Golf Sports

You might be a redneck if… you ever won first prize in a tobacco spittin’ contest.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you refer to the fifth grade as “my senior year.”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education People Rednecks School

You might be a redneck if… you've been on television more than five times describing what the tornado sounded like.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

Whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Communication Intelligence Speech

You might be a redneck if… your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Music People Rednecks

I was so bad at it, [golf] they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Golf Sports

You might be a redneck if… you think the winter Olympic sport of curling is part of the “Big Hair” competition.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Hair People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your dad’s cell number has nothing to do with a telephone.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Family Fathers People Rednecks