Author: Jeff Foxworthy Page 6

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder?… 'cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Conflict Killing People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you think the winter Olympic sport of curling is part of the “Big Hair” competition.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Hair People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you refer to the fifth grade as “my senior year.”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education People Rednecks School

You might be a redneck if… you think a "quarter horse" is that ride in front of Kmart.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals People Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if… you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Marriage People Rednecks Relationships

You might be a redneck if… you have a bumper sticker that says, "MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Mothers People Rednecks School

You might be a redneck if… Mailpouch sends you Christmas cards.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment People Rednecks Television

You might be a redneck if… one of your kids was born on a pool table.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Situations

You might be a redneck if… you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if… your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs Money People Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if…… you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People

You might be a redneck if… the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Music People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your brother-in-law is your uncle AND your grandfather.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Relationships

When I was in high school, a “drive-by shooting” meant someone had their rear end hanging out a car window!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities Age Young

You might be a redneck if… your dad’s cell number has nothing to do with a telephone.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Family Fathers People Rednecks

A redneck died and left his entire fortune to his beloved wife… she couldn’t touch it until she was fourteen.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Death Marriage People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you own a Waffle House credit card.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your daughter's Barbie Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things