Author: Jeff Foxworthy Page 7

We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Relationships Situations

You might be a redneck if… the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks Relationships

You might be a redneck if… your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Eating Food/Drink Places

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics Situations Work

You might be a redneck if… the FBI surrounded your trailer park twice so far this year.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… the biggest city you have ever been to is Wal-Mart.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Places Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your last year you hid yer kids' Easter eggs under cow pies.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals People Rednecks

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother – you’re not sure what you’ve got but you’re pretty sure you’re not going to like it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Family Relationships Things

You might be a redneck if… your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

I was so bad at it, [golf] they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Golf Sports

You might be a redneck if… one of your kids was born on a pool table.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Situations

You might be a redneck if… you’ve ever had to scratch your sister's name out of a message that begins, "For a good time time call…"

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Relationships

You might be a redneck if… your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your child’s first words are “Attention Kmart shoppers!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Children Family People Rednecks Speech

You might be a redneck if… you think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things Wives

You might be a redneck if… you think 'N Sync is where the dirty dishes go.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Music People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you’ve ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister’s honor.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Relationships

You might be a redneck if… you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks