Author: Megan Mullally

If you ever need someone to drink with, I’ll drink with you. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I’ll drink with you. I guess what I’m trying to say is: I love to drink!

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

Jack: We’ll rent a movie. You’re into gay porn, right?

Grace: Who isn’t?

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

Honey, tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

I gave that man the drunkest years of my life.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

Well, look who penetrated the inner-circle. And then he stuck around and married her.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

Well, well, well. Look what the cat cleaned up, showered, exfoliated, powdered, lipsticked, Gucci’d and dragged in.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

NO! I will not have sex for money! I only have sex for jewels, furs, or mixed securities, like a lady.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

I just want somebody who gets me. Somebody who’s comfortable in my world, and makes me laugh, and occasionally brings me flowers. And… somebody who likes kittens, and the hard-core bondage scene.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

We talked, we laughed, he walked me home. He was such a gentleman. He opened the door for me, I opened my shirt for him.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

Thats like saying Prada’s are just shoes, or vodka is just a morning beverage!

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

I’m going to take the high road, and just because I’m high.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

Oh my God, how can you drink straight orange juice first thing in the morning?

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

I’ve got drinks piling up on my desk and a stack of pills I have even opened yet!

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

I regret the day I ever laid boobs on that man.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

The only other person I’ve apologized to is my mother and that was court ordered.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

It’s not something you can just run away from like a hotel bill… or a crying baby.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

She’s gone to Mexico for face-lifts so many times, I’ll bet if you whacked her head with a stick, prizes would fall out.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

Honey, that is not my soul you’re looking at.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

[a man rushes in to meet Karen] Miss Walker, I came as soon as you called.

Karen: Well that’s really none of my business, but thanks for sharing.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

You say potato, I say vodka.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

I’ve been like a mother to that girl. I’ve locked her in her room, told her she was fat, and once I even left her in a store!

(1958 – ) American actress & singer