Author: P.G. Wodehouse

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Intelligence Memory

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Communication

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Age Golf Sports

I always advise people never to give advice.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Beliefs Opinion

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Arms Sports

He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Appearance Insults

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Health Life

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics

The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him; in no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Golf Sports

Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth; it is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Age Golf Sports Success Wealth

Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers; unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Books Communication Reading/Writing

He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes at its maximum only to the man who has given up golf.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Golf Situations Sports

The usual drawback to success is that it annoys one’s friends so.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Success

… I hadn’t the heart to touch my breakfast; I told Jeeves to drink it himself.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Miscellaneous

Golf… is the infallible test; the man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Golf Honesty Sports

Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir; it merely mummifies its corpse.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Marriage

The least thing upsets him on the links; he missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Golf Sports

There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem – slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Golf Sports

And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Intelligence Wisdom

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Intelligence

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of someone who had searched for the leak in life’s gas pipe with a lighted candle.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Death