Author: P.G. Wodehouse Page 2

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and ray of sunshine.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
People Places

And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Intelligence Wisdom

… I hadn’t the heart to touch my breakfast; I told Jeeves to drink it himself.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Miscellaneous

In boxing the right cross-counter is distinctly one of those things it is more blessed to give than to receive.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Boxing Sports

He was either a man of about a hundred and fifty who was rather young for his years, or a man of about a hundred and ten who had been aged by trouble.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Age Insults

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Age Golf Sports

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Communication

The least thing upsets him on the links; he missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Golf Sports

Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth; it is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Age Golf Sports Success Wealth

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Insults Intelligence

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Alcohol Appearance Insults

He died of cirrhosis of the liver… it costs money to die of cirrhosis of the liver.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Death Health Money

All the unhappy marriages come from husbands having brains; what good are brains to a man? … they only unsettle him.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Husbands Intelligence Marriage Wisdom