Author: P.J. O'Rourke Page 2

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Places

Americans don't really understand what's going on in Bosnia; to them it's the unspellables killing the unpronouncables.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Communication Language Places

The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then gets elected and proves it.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Politicians

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Books Communication Death Reading/Writing

The Middle Eastern states aren’t nations, they’re quarrels with borders.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Conflict Fights Places

The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Insults People

Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fisherman.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Canada Places

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Characteristics Government Money Politics

You can always reason with a German… you can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Insults People

… what is your host’s purpose in having a party; surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose they’d have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Activities

Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Insults People

Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Food/Drink

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Politicians Work

Some people are better imagined in one's bed than found there in the morning.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Ideas Sex Situations

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high-powered rifle and scope.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Beliefs Communication Opinion

Why don’t you come over tonight? … our dog’s in heat.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Insults

To attract the most attention, a woman should be either nude or wearing something as expensive as getting her nude is going to be.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Appearance Clothing

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Children Family Parents

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government