Author: Paul Lynde Page 6

Peter Marshall: A current movie is being described as “the story of a love that changed the world forever.” What movie is it?

Paul Lynde: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In The Wizard Of Oz, the Tin Man wanted a heart, and the Lion wanted courage. What did the Straw Man want?

Paul Lynde: He wanted the Tin Man to notice him.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Coronet, do most men feel uneasy around women with really large breasts?

Paul Lynde: Yes, they run for cover.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Modern science can’t really explain why, but if you go outside at night, stand on your head, and stare at the full moon, you will notice something unusual. What?

Paul Lynde: Yes, in eight seconds, rain will fill up your nose.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?

Paul Lynde: Yes, but he still won't go up to your apartment.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… in the recent world kissing contest in England, two contestants were disqualified when they got too passionate?

Paul Lynde: But they went on to win in three other categories.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: President Washington once said quote “I would rather be in my grave than in…” what?

Paul Lynde: Grant’s tomb.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Johnny Carson’s ex-wife Joanne, after the divorce, he sent her a copy of a best-selling book. Which one?

Paul Lynde: Shaft!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What do you call a bull that can’t have kids?

Paul Lynde: Anthony Quinn.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Compton’s Encyclopedia, when Columbus returned from his famous trip, he brought Queen Isabella six naked savages, some animals, some plants, and something valuable. What was it?

Paul Lynde: I’ll say the six naked savages.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: At the end of the movie The Planet of the Apes, what does Charlton Heston see that makes him realize that he is actually in New York City?

Paul Lynde: A Puerto Rican.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Can chewing gum help prevent a child from catching a cold?

Paul Lynde: No, but I know it’ll plug a runny nose.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: To the people of Italy, what is “the poe?”

Paul Lynde: The opposite of “the rich.”

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Do female frogs croak?

Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Why do sheep sleep huddled up?

Paul Lynde: Because Little Boy Blue’s a weirdo!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, do most people sleep better in their street clothes than in their pajamas?

Paul Lynde: Yeah, we call them winos.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… in Athens recently, they discovered sketches of the great philosopher Socrates, revealing that he bore a striking resemblance to Paul Newman?

Paul Lynde: But he walked like Joanne!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Something happened to Marlon Brando in 1955, and afterward he told friends he thought it would happen to Bing Crosby instead. What happened?

Paul Lynde: Oh, one of Bing's sons asked him for money.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… NASA officials report that when Chinese vice-premier Dang visited the astronaut training headquarters recently, the one big question he demanded to know was… where the astronauts go to the bathroom?!

Paul Lynde: The answer was over China!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, when the citizens of China want a drink of water, they usually do something to it first. What?

Paul Lynde: Remove the shirts.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… according to the Bible, you are a sinner?

Paul Lynde: As long as they spelled my name right.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares