Author: Will Rogers

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Speech

My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
History People Things Time

The English should give Ireland home rule – and reserve the motion picture rights.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Places

There are three kinds of men: the ones who learn by reading; the few who learn by observation; the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Intelligence People

Ten men in the country could buy the world and ten million can’t buy enough to eat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Money People Places Poverty

I don't make jokes… I just watch the government and report the facts.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Entertainment Government

You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Intelligence

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics Government

With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Emotions Government

We can’t all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
People

You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Individuals Intelligence Memory People

The more you read and observe about the Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politics

Liberty doesn't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

Ain’t it funny how many hundreds of thousands of soldiers we can recruit with nerve; but we can’t find one politician in a million with backbone.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Military Politicians

Calvin Coolidge didn’t say much, and when he did, he didn’t say much.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Insults Intelligence Speech

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Anger Emotions

The Venus de Milo is a good example of what happens to somebody who won't stop biting her fingernails.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Art Entertainment

Whenever I feel the need for exercise I go and lie down for half an hour until the feeling passes.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Activities Exercise

He’s the first president to discover that what the American people want is to be left alone.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Places

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Congress Government Time

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Animals Characteristics Life