Author: Will Rogers Page 2

The minute you read something that you can’t understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Government Intelligence Law Lawyers Understanding

The difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government

Calvin Coolidge didn’t say much, and when he did, he didn’t say much.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Insults Intelligence Speech

You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Intelligence

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing – and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Money

You can’t say civilization don’t advance, for in every war they kill you in a new way.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Conflict Killing War

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics Government

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Speech

My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
History People Things Time

There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Work

There are three kinds of men: the ones who learn by reading; the few who learn by observation; the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Intelligence People

Liberty doesn't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

Always drink upstream from the herd.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Alcohol Food/Drink

I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

Ain’t it funny how many hundreds of thousands of soldiers we can recruit with nerve; but we can’t find one politician in a million with backbone.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Military Politicians

If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
People Problems Self

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Accidents Failure Situations

Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Appearance Clothing Men People Women

The more you read and observe about the Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politics

I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Appearance Body Old

She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Appearance Insults