Author: Wilson Mizner Page 2

Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Death

Why should I talk to you? I've just been talking with your boss.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Last words

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Fools Intelligence People

The worst-tempered people I’ve ever met were the people who knew they were wrong.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
People

I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, "Have you read…"

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics Honesty Lies

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Beliefs Education Religion

Many a live wire would be a dead one except for his connections.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics

He’s the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Frugal Insults Money

He's a trellis for varicose veins.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Appearance Body Insults

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Family Places Relationships

The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Marriage

Art is science made clear.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Art Science/Weather