Author: Sign Page 44

Big Dick’s Halfway Inn Resort

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Quicksand – Any Person Passing This Point Will Be Drowned

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Thefts Are Occurring In The Building

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Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: "The Gates of Heaven."

Below that was a small cardboard sign which read: "Please use other entrance."

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Reserved for plant manager.

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Tomorrow’s Forecast: God Reigns and the Son Shines!

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Speed Limit π (3.1416 MPH)

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THE NORTONS – No Relatives Allowed

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This door is alarmed from 7:00 pm – 7:00 am

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Watts you see is watts you get.

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If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

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Parking Can Be FUN For Small Cars Only

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DANGER – Groin Subject To Wave Overtopping

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Edifice Wrecks

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Satisfaction Guaranteed or 110% of Your Product Back!

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Do NOT use restroom in trashcan!!

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THINK • Do it Right The First Time! Plan Ahead

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Boneless Bananas 89¢

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DO NOT use microwave and toaster oven at the same time. It will throw Earth out of orbit and we’ll plummet into the sun. Thank you.

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Good Clean Dancing Every Night But Sunday

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One prick can ruin your life.

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