Author: Sign Page 44

Big Dick’s Halfway Inn Resort

Quicksand – Any Person Passing This Point Will Be Drowned

Thefts Are Occurring In The Building

Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: "The Gates of Heaven."

Below that was a small cardboard sign which read: "Please use other entrance."

Reserved for plant manager.

Tomorrow’s Forecast: God Reigns and the Son Shines!

Speed Limit π (3.1416 MPH)

THE NORTONS – No Relatives Allowed

This door is alarmed from 7:00 pm – 7:00 am

Watts you see is watts you get.

If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

Parking Can Be FUN For Small Cars Only

DANGER – Groin Subject To Wave Overtopping

Edifice Wrecks

Satisfaction Guaranteed or 110% of Your Product Back!

Do NOT use restroom in trashcan!!

THINK • Do it Right The First Time! Plan Ahead

Boneless Bananas 89¢

DO NOT use microwave and toaster oven at the same time. It will throw Earth out of orbit and we’ll plummet into the sun. Thank you.

Good Clean Dancing Every Night But Sunday

One prick can ruin your life.