Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

  • Home
  • About
  • Categories

    • Activities
    • Age
    • Animals
    • Appearance
    • Beliefs
    • Characteristics
    • Communication
    • Conflict
    • Death
    • Education
    • Emotions
    • Entertainment
    • Family
    • Food/Drink
    • Government
    • Health
    • Intelligence
    • Life
    • Marriage
    • Miscellaneous
    • Money
    • People
    • Places
    • Problems
    • Relationships
    • Science/Weather
    • Sex
    • Situations
    • Sports
    • Success
    • Things
    • Time
    • Work
  • Additional Categories

    • Book Titles
    • Confucius say
    • Definitions
    • Epitaphs
    • Exaggerations
    • Expressions
    • Hollywood Squares
    • Insults
    • Last Words
    • Murphy's Laws
    • Place Names
    • Proverbs
    • Reviews/Criticism
    • Song Titles
    • Tom Swifties
    • TV/Movie Quotes
  • Oops...

    • Bushisms
    • Church Bulletins
    • Classified Ads
    • Colemanballs
    • Headlines
    • Malaprops
    • Misspokements
    • Signs
    • Translations
    • Yogi-isms
  • Some Popular Authors

    • Abraham Lincoln
    • Alfred E. Neuman
    • Ambrose Bierce
    • Benjamin Franklin
    • Dave Barry
    • Demetri Martin
    • Dorothy Parker
    • Emo Phillips
    • George Carlin
    • Groucho Marx
    • H.L. Mencken
    • Homer Simpson
    • Jeff Foxworthy
    • Jimmy Carr
    • Joan Rivers
    • Mae West
    • Mark Twain
    • Mitch Hedberg
    • Oscar Wilde
    • Phyllis Diller
    • Richard Lewis
    • Rita Rudner
    • Rodney Dangerfield
    • Steven Wright
    • Stewart Francis
    • W.C. Fields
    • Will Rogers
    • Woody Allen
  • View All Authors

Keyword: Choice

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics Bad Choice Evil

The child that divides gets last pick.

Mrs. Rawson's Law for Sharing Desserts
Children Murphy’s Laws Choice Desserts

Required option

Oxymoron
Oxymorons Choice

You cannot tell for certain, ahead of time, which side of the bread to put the butter on.

Mrs. Murphy's Law of Perversity
Murphy’s Laws Bread Butter Choice

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base.

Dave Barry
(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Children Family People Women Choice Good

I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don't have to.

Albert Einstein
(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Age Clothing Old Choice Socks

In crises that force people to choose among alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst possible course.

Rudin's Law
Murphy’s Laws Choice Decisions

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.

Proverb
Miscellaneous Proverbs Choice Evil













Copyright © Just-One-Liners.com