Keyword: Smoking (Page 2)

You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
Activities

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Murphy’s Laws

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex

Smoking is a dying habit.

(1948 – ) British politician
Activities

Giving up smoking is easy… I've done it hundreds of times.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Characteristics

Oscar Wilde: Do you mind if I smoke?

Bernhardt: I don't care if you burn.

(1844-1923) French stage actress
Insults

You might be a redneck if… you smoked during your wedding.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities Marriage People Rednecks

I gotta quit smoking, doctor’s orders… and the drinking, court orders.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Activities