Subject: Age (Page 28)

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they're cramming for their final exam.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Age Old

I'm too young for Medicare and too old for broads to care.

(1911 – 1986) American actor
Age Young

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Friends People Young

The young feel tired at the end of an action; the old at the beginning.

(1888 – 1965) British (US-born) critic, dramatist & poet
Age

Whatever happened to the good old days when kids was scared to death of their parents?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Age Children Family Fear Parents Past

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.

Age Intelligence Old Young

I'm a little kid; I'm gone 12, 13, 14 hours… I don't remember anybody coming looking for me… no Amber Alert goes off.

American comedian
Age Young

Youth: A good substitute for experience.

Age Definitions Young

Sex at 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Age Old Sex

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

American cartoonist, illustrator & writer
Age

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Old Reading/Writing

Money can’t buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Friends Money People Young

I’m throwing as hard as I ever did, but the ball is just not getting there as fast.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Age Baseball Sports Success

There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good many friends who call me a fool.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Age Fools Friends People Self

The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it.

(1924 – ) American actress & singer
Age