Subject: Malaprops

Malaprops:

The mistaken use of a word or words in place of a similar-sounding one – as in, television character Archie Bunker’s utterance of "birth patrol pills.” Here are some we’ve come across.

This makes me so sore it gets my dandruff up.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

Tonight, I become a lesbian.

(1971 – ) American actress

Patience is a virgin.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

My husband was chosen as a wheelbarrow for his friend's funeral.

That’s it! I can't take this anymore! … This is worse than Chinese Waiter Torture.

(1971 – ) American actress

Florence Nightengown

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Commenstrual with my experience.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

I've been mostly camping and living in hostiles.

It’s a point or setter plant.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems… like your groinocology.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Banging on their chests with a primeval scream.

They live in a two-storage house.

The two of you was intricate together.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

He's going up and down like a metronome.

He's the type who will cut your throat behind your back.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist

Busted tribia

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

I guess you could say I'm an internal optometrist.

A brand new vacuum cleaner with all the latest attractions.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

The prostitution rests.

(1971 – ) American actress

I ain’t got nothing in that hand. Look at that, this guy is suspective of everything.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

What’d ya do, sneak off to some chyropractor and get yourself fixed?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)