Subject: Activities » Housework

I make no secret of the fact that I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it.

(1932 – ) British novelist & journalist
Activities Housework

Excuse the mess but we live here.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Activities Housework

How do you know if it's time to wash the dishes and clean your house?… look inside your pants and if you find a penis in there, it's not time.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Housework Men People Situations

You know it’s time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Housework Work

My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Family Housework Mothers

Show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually clean kitchen, and 8 times out of 9 I’ll show you a man with detestable spiritual qualities.

(1920 – 1994) German-born author & poet
Beliefs Housework

There is always more dirty laundry than clean laundry.

Housework Murphy’s Laws

If you start to clean your desk in the spare bedroom you will probably have to clean the garage to find what you need to finish cleaning the desk.

Housework Murphy’s Laws

I find apologizing for not having cleaned is easier than cleaning.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Housework

People often write me and ask how I keep my wood floors so clean when I live with a child and a dog, and my answer is that I use a technique called “Suffering From a Mental Illness.”

(1975 – ) blogger
Health Housework

I’ve decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Activities Housework

Whatever arrangement you make for the division of household duties, your husband's job will be easier.

Housework Husbands Murphy’s Laws Wives

I’m eighteen years behind on my ironing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Activities Housework

My kitchen floor is sticky, and I had to do something about it.. so finally I went out and bought some slippers.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
Activities Housework

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Housework Work

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

Conflict Housework Husbands Marriage Proverbs

A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.

Activities Housework Life Proverbs

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Children Housework People

Keeping house is as unpleasant and filthy as coal mining, and the pay's a lot worse.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Activities Housework

I’ve decided to become gay… not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.

American comedian & actor
Activities Housework

The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Housework Work