Subject: Activities » Travel (Page 2)

If God had really intended man to fly, He’d make it easier to get to the airport.

(1925 – 2013) comedian & actor
Activities Travel

The distance to the gate from which your flight departs is inversely proportional to the time remaining before the scheduled departure of the flight.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Time Travel

Those who live closest arrive latest.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Time Travel

The best accessory a girl can have is her best friend.

(1981 – ) heiress, socialite, media personality & model
Appearance Friends Travel

The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
People Places Travel

I'm often asked why I travel around the country talking politics: Is it for humanitarian reasons, community spirit, or is it for the money, the limousines or the girls? … The answers are: no, no, yes yes yes!

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Activities Government Politics Travel

Never, ever, fly on the airline of the country from which you are departing.

Murphy’s Laws Places Travel

I just got out of the hospital… I had my mother removed from my back.

comedian & television writer
Beliefs Family Mothers Travel

I hate traveling, I guess ’cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Activities Conflict Family Fathers Travel

We’re lost, but we’re making good time.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Activities Travel Yogi-isms

I was just vacationing in Amsterdam, where prostitution is legal; let me rephrase that – I was just vacationing in Amsterdam because prostitution is legal.

American comedian & writer
Activities Places Travel

The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent.

(1927 – ) American cartoonist (Momma)
Children Family Travel

When you need towns, they are very far apart.

Activities Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Travel

1. You can get “anywhere” in ten minutes if you go fast enough.
2. Speed bumps are of negligible effect when the vehicle exceeds triple the desired restraining speed.
3. The vehicle in front of you is traveling slower than you are.
4. This lane ends in 500 feet.

Activities Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Travel

When you are served a meal aboard an aircraft, the aircraft will encounter turbulence.

Activities Eating Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Travel

He travels fastest who travels alone… but he hasn’t anything to do when he gets there.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Travel

Detour: Something that lengthens your mileage, diminishes your gas, and strengthens your vocabulary.

Activities Definitions Travel

When traveling with children… at least one child of any number of children will request a rest room stop exactly halfway between any two given rest areas.

Activities Children Family Murphy’s Laws Travel

Detour: The roughest distance between two points.

Activities Definitions Travel

There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you’re anxious to meet people who do.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Travel

When Mel told his Jewish mother he was marrying an Italian girl, she said: ‘Bring her over; I’ll be in the kitchen—with my head in the oven.‘

(1931 – 2005) American actor
Family Mothers People Travel