Subject: Animals » Cats

Cat: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Cats Communication Definitions Language

Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they’re really doing is saying, “I can’t knit, get this away from me!”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Cats

I’m fond of pigs… dogs look up to us… cats look down on us… pigs treat us as equal.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Animals Cats Dogs

No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Animals Cats Conflict Fights

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Animals Appearance Cats Clothing

Cat: A pygmy lion who loathes mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Animals Cats Definitions

Cats have nine lives… which makes them ideal for experimentation.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Animals Cats

I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung up by its tail outside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws.

(1821 – 1867) French poet, essayist & art critic
Animals Cats Insults Music

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Cats Characteristics

Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Cats

How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You

Book Titles Cats

I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats

Animals Book Titles Cats

My sister wanted a cat for a pet… I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Animals Cats Dogs Relationships

Any member introducing a dog into the Society’s premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat.

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Animals Cats Dogs Murphy’s Laws

Cats… a standing rebuke to behavioural scientist.


Animals Cats

A house without a dog or a cat is the house of a scoundrel.

Animals Cats Dogs Proverbs

We’ve a cat called Ben Hur; we called it Ben till it had kittens.


Animals Cats

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.


Animals Cats

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you.

(1962 – ) American English professor & writer under pen name Eloisa James
Animals Cats Dogs

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Cats People Self

Cats don’t belong to people; they belong to places.


Animals Cats