Subject: Beliefs » God (Page 3)

I wish God were alive to see this.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

If you want to know what God thinks of money, you only have to look at those to whom he gives it.

(1874 – 1945) English writer, translator & war correspondent

I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Every day, people are straying away from the Church and going back to God.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist

If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor

God is usually on the side of the big squadrons against the small.

(1618 – 1693) French memoirist

God always has another custard pie up His sleeve.

(1943 – 2010) English actress

You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.

(1954 – ) author

God may choose to heal someone from cancer, yet that person still has a great deal of medical bills; the outstanding bills do not determine whether or not the patient has been healed by God.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)

It’s hard to believe that if there is a God, he would want people to stand in the street and shout like maniacs. I think He would choose better qualified people.

(1980 – ) English comedian & novelist

The good Lord never gives you more than you can handle… unless you die of something.

(1935 – ) American cartoonist

It is the final proof of God’s omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist

If God wanted me to bend over, he’d have put diamonds on the floor.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike; then I realised that The Lord doesn’t work that way… so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer

God was left out of the Constitution but was furnished a front seat on the coins of the country.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer

If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke.

blogger (Standing Room Only)

The difference between God and the historians consists above all in the fact that God cannot alter the past.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist

God don't make no mistakes… that's how He got to be God.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author