Subject: Characteristics (Page 21)

No matter how cynical you get, it’s impossible to keep up.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Characteristics

I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life; my gynecologist examines me by telephone.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Characteristics Self Sex

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times.

(1896 – 1969) American congressman & senator (Illinois)
Characteristics People Self

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Lies People Truth

Virtue: Lack of opportunity.

Characteristics Definitions

To look at me now… it's hard to believe I was once considered a dull guy.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Characteristics

You have taken yourself too seriously.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People Self

Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel.

Characteristics Conflict Murphy’s Laws

A man will do more for his stubbornness than for his religion or his country.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Characteristics

In the battle of existence, talent is the punch; tact is the clever footwork.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Cats Characteristics

Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Characteristics People

Somewhere between the Angels and the French lies the rest of humanity.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People

Tolerance: That uncomfortable feeling that the other fellow might be right after all.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

I want to make a revolving door that says “Pull” on it, just see how obedient people are.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Characteristics

 The difference between the old ballplayer and the new ballplayer is the jersey; the old ballplayer cared about the name on the front… the new ballplayer cares about the name on the back.

professional baseball player
Baseball Characteristics Sports

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Characteristics

Consistence requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.

1865 – 1959) American art historian
Characteristics Intelligence Stupidity

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Beliefs Characteristics Opinion

He's so honest you can shoot dice with him on the telephone.

(1931 – ) television newscaster
Characteristics Honesty