Subject: Characteristics (Page 43)

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics People Rednecks Things

If he fell into a pile of horse shit, he’d start looking for a pony.

Characteristics Expressions

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.

(1930 – ) actor, writer, film & television director
Characteristics Health

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Characteristics

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics

Never underestimate the determination of a kid who is time rich and cash poor.

(1971 – ) Canadian blogger, journalist & science fiction author
Characteristics Children

Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Communication Money Speech

Be a fountain, not a drain.

(1960 – ) professional baseball player
Characteristics

A woman is a highly developed, deeply intelligent, infinitely complicated being… and it needs to be carefully tricked into doing things.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics People Women

Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics Honesty

McKinley has a chocolate eclair backbone.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Characteristics Insults

I recognize my limits, but when I look around I realize I am not living exactly in a world of giants.

(1919 – ) Italian Prime Minister
Characteristics Intelligence

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Characteristics

A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics

He's so honest you can shoot dice with him on the telephone.

(1931 – ) television newscaster
Characteristics Honesty

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Honesty Truth

Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Characteristics People

Don't look back; something may be gaining on you.

(1906 – 1982) baseball player
Characteristics

Fine words! … I wonder where you stole them.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Characteristics Communication Honesty Insults

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer’s heart.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Characteristics Entertainment Hollywood Places