Subject: Communication » Language (Page 18)

Elector: One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man’s choice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Language

I married way too young… she was Chinese.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

All phone calls are obscene.

American author
Communication Language

Omen: A sign that something will happen if nothing happens.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language Speech Success

Before the invention of the alphabet, filing was impossible… or very easy.

(1972 – ) English standup comedian, writer & actor
Communication Language

Abbreviation: Long word with, ironically, no obvious shorter alternative.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
Definitions Language Reading/Writing

Nothing risqué, nothing gained.

(1887 – 1943) theater critic & commentator
Characteristics Language Sex

I like terra firma; the more firma, the less terra.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist
Communication Language

Americans don't really understand what's going on in Bosnia; to them it's the unspellables killing the unpronouncables.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Communication Language Places

If you substitute damn every time you’re inclined to write very your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language Reading/Writing

‘Pessimist’ is a word used by optimists to describe someone who sees the world for what it really is.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Communication Language Life

I used to have a job as a pantomime horse, but quit while I was a head.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Work

Philanthropist: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Wealth

Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Intelligence Language

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize,’ … except at a funeral.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Death Language

I have been called too vague by you know who… but you know the old saying…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

Is "tired old cliche" one?


Communication Language

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

(1928 - ) American pianist, writer, composer & music producer
Communication Language

It was while making newspaper deliveries, trying to miss the bushes and hit the porch, that I first learned the importance of accuracy in journalism.

(1933 – ) American telejournalist
Communication Language Reading/Writing