Subject: Death (Page 10)

I have a lifetime appointment and I intend to serve it; I expect to die at 110, shot by a jealous husband.

(1908 – 1993) U.S. Supreme Court justice
Death Relationships Situations

If you really believe that death leads to eternal bliss, then why are you wearing a seatbelt?

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Death

If I had known the difference between the words 'antidote' and 'anecdote,' one of my good friends would still be living.

comedian
Communication Death Health Language

When Sinclair (Lewis) is dead he's dead; when I die I'm immortal.

(1873 – 1945) journalist & author
Death People Self

Ask her to wait a moment – I am almost done.

(1777 – 1855) German mathematician & scientist
Death

If any of you have a message for the Devil, give it to me, for I am about to meet him!


Last words

Martyr: One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language

I detest life insurance agents; they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Death

Pope John Paul didn't die… he pre-boarded.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Death

Dear me! I think I'm turning into a god…

(9 – 79) Roman Emperor
Last words

This is it! I'm going. I'm going.

(1886 – 1950) American singer, comedian & actor
Last words

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering… and it’s all over much too soon.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Emotions Life Time

 I heard doctors revived a man who had been dead for 4½ minutes – when they asked him what it was like being dead, he said it was like listening to Yankees announcer Phil Rizzuto during a rain delay.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Baseball Death Health Sports

I just don't want to die the same day Castro dies.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Death Self

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death Places

Gentlemen, I bid you farewell.


Last words

Applaud, my friends, the comedy is finished.

(1770 – 1827) German composer & pianist
Last words

Surprise me!

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Death Yogi-isms

Truman Capote's death was a good career move.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Death Insults

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Death Things

I get my exercise from acting as a pallbearer to my friends who exercise.

(1834 – 1928) American attorney for Cornelius Vanderbilt
Activities Death Exercise