Subject: Death (Page 10)

They say you shouldn’t say nothin’ about the dead unless it’s good; he’s dead… good!

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Communication Death Speech

At Last She Sleeps Alone.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Death

My work is done, why wait?

(1854 – 1932) American innovator & founder of Eastman Kodak
Last words

Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck.

(1906 – 1972) Russian-born English actor, singer-songwriter & music composer
Last words

I'm tired of fighting! I guess this thing is going to get me.

born Erik Weisz (1874 – 1926) Hungarian-born American magician, stunt performer & escape artist
Last words

Last night, I blew $5,000 on a reincarnation seminar… I figured, ‘What the hell; you only live once.’

comedian
Death Life

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Death

Give me immortality or death.

Death Life

With the newspaper strike on, I wouldn't consider dying.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Communication Death Reading/Writing

It's all been rather lovely.

(1912 – 1983) English actor
Last words

Die, my dear?… why that's the last thing I'll do!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Death Last words

Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered when they die but they’re not getting up early on a Sunday.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Death Life

Death – to blink for an exceptionally long period of time.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Death Definitions

I'm sorry, boys, I’m all wet.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Death Last words

If you really believe that death leads to eternal bliss, then why are you wearing a seatbelt?

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Death

When you have told anyone you have left him a legacy the only decent thing to do is to die at once.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Death

Utter nonsense.

(1884 – 1962) diplomat & reformer & first lady
Last words

Our sympathy is extended to Samuel Austin, whose mother pasted away.

Church Bulletins Death

The good Lord never gives you more than you can handle… unless you die of something.

(1935 – ) American cartoonist
Beliefs Death God Life Problems

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have grandma buried or cremated… in the end, we let her live.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Death Family

Die… I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Last words