Subject: Death (Page 20)

People get way too much credit at funerals.

(1973 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actor, director & producer
Death

I could shoot better!

(1920 – 1945) Dutch communist resistance fighter during World War II
Last words

Kaputt…

(1892 – 1918) German fighter pilot widely known as the Red Baron
Last words

I tried to hang myself with bungee cord… I kept almost dying.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Death

Longevity: Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language Life

Die: To stop sinning suddenly.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Death

But the peasants… how do the peasants die?

(1828 – 1910) Russian writer
Last words

I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.

Taylor C. Craig (1960 – 1995) American double-convicted murderer
Last words

When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Death People Self

I'd like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my ass.

(1963 – 1992) Texas inmate executed for rape & murder
Last words

It's very beautiful over there.

(1847 – 1931) American inventor, scientist & businessman
Last words

Our sympathy is extended to Samuel Austin, whose mother pasted away.

Church Bulletins Death

When I die, if the word ‘thong’ appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I’ve screwed up.

(1947 — ) American actor, writer, comedian & director
Death Self

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him… but I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Death Situations

If this is dying, I don’t think much of it.

(1880 – 1932) British writer & critic
Death

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

(1900 – 1993) American actress
Age Death

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Books Communication Death Reading/Writing

You sons of bitches, give my love to Mother!

(1912 - 1932) American convicted murderer & career criminal
Last words

I'm glad he died before me, because I didn't want him to sing at my funeral.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Death People

I don't believe that I'm going to be able to speak any longer.

(1881 – 1965) American Major League Baseball executive
Last words

I hope the exit is joyful and hope never to return.

(1907 – 1954) Mexican painter
Last words