Subject: Death (Page 20)

Lady, you shot me.

(1931 – 1964) American singer, songwriter & entrepreneur

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman

Don't let it end like this; tell them I said something.

(1878 – 1923) Mexican revolutionary general

If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring.

(1918 – 1988) American physicist

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

You know, I don't mind dying. The thing that pisses me off is that I won't get to be an old man. I was looking forward to that.

(1928 – 1994) American actor

This is the first time authorities helped me escape prison.

(c.1914 – 1947) American convicted murderer

Please put out the light.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president

I feel nothing except a certain difficulty in continuing to exist.

(1657 – 1757) French author

There is no doubt that the first requirement for a composer is to be dead.

(1892 – 1955) Swiss composer

Death – to blink for an exceptionally long period of time.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

I'm out of here, man. I'm gone. Keep me in your hearts.

(? – 2008) American convicted murder

 I heard doctors revived a man who had been dead for 4½ minutes – when they asked him what it was like being dead, he said it was like listening to Yankees announcer Phil Rizzuto during a rain delay.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

Longevity: Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

I knew if I waited around long enough something like this would happen.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian

Okay, I won’t.

(1935 – 1977) American singer

There are some similarities, of course [between Iraq and Vietnam] – death is terrible.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president

I'm glad he died before me, because I didn't want him to sing at my funeral.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian