Subject: Death (Page 25)

I feel sleepy, a short time of rest would do me good.

(1746 – 1792) King of Sweden
Last words

[Memorial services are the] cocktail parties of the geriatric set.

(1902 – 1983) English actor
Age Death Entertainment

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die; I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help."

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Death Entertainment Television

Firefly: Not that I care, but where is your husband?
Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead.
Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Death TV/Movie Quotes

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Death

I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers – they’re going to make a game out of it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Activities Death Games People Self

I'm glad that's over.

(1926 – 1984) English comedian
Last words

No Comment

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Last words

Many of these guys on death row have done heinous things, but when we as a people sink to their level and execute them, then we’re no better than Republicans.

American comedian & writer
Death Government Politicians

This is funny.

(1851 – 1887) American gambler, gunfighter & dentist of the American old west
Last words

Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck.

(1906 – 1972) Russian-born English actor, singer-songwriter & music composer
Last words

It's stopped.

(1791 – 1863) English surgeon & literary executor of Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Last words

Go away. I'm all right.

(1866 – 1946) English author
Last words

I hate going to funerals because I’m not a mourning person.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Communication Death Wordplay

I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring.

(1918 – 1988) American physicist
Last words

When I die, I hope to go to heaven… whatever the hell that is.

(1905 – 1982) Russian-American novelist, playwright & philosopher
Death

Don't let it end like this; tell them I said something.

(1878 – 1923) Mexican revolutionary general
Last words

The play is over, applaud!

(63 BC – 14 AD) first emperor of the Roman Empire
Last words

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Death Intelligence Memory

At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Death Self

If I were a grave-digger, or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

(1803 – 1857) English writer
Death Insults Occupations People Work