Subject: Definitions (Page 49)

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Memorial Service: A farewell party for someone who has already left.

Death Definitions

Average Man: A person who doesn’t want much, and usually gets a little less than that.

Definitions People

Organic Farm: Tilling like it is.

Definitions

Taxpayer: One who doesn’t have to pass a civil service exam to work for the government.

Definitions Government Taxes Work

Humility: The ability to act ashamed when you tell people how wonderful you are.

Definitions

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn.

Definitions

Etiquette: Learning to yawn with your mouth closed.

Definitions

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay

Diplomat: Someone who can lose all the points and still win the game.

Definitions

Abstainer: A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language

Yacht: A floating debt.

Definitions

Erudite: Exhibiting a degree of book learning fatal to success in any business or romantic enterprise.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Class Reunion: A gathering where you come to the conclusion that most of the people your own age are a lot older than you are.

Age Definitions

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine.

Beer Definitions Food/Drink

Love: Oceans of emotions surrounded by expanses of expenses.

Definitions Emotions Love

Advertising: The rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Eric Arthur Blair (1903 – 50) English author & journalist
Definitions

Philanthropist: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Wealth

Job: A state of employment everyone wants but few look forward to on a Monday morning.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Acting Definitions Entertainment Occupations

Good Neighbor: A fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn’t climb it.

Definitions

Drug: A substance that, when injected into a guinea pig, produces a scientific paper.

Activities Definitions Drugs Science/Weather