Subject: Emotions (Page 13)

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author

They laughed at Edison and Einstein, but somehow I still feel uncomfortable when they laugh at me.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

As my mother always says, “If you have to swear to get laughs, then you’re obviously a c**t.”

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor

You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.

(1977 – ) Irish actress, producer & writer

Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.

(1933 – ) English actress & author

I have no problem with homophobia; as long as they do it behind closed doors.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor

Love will find a lay.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright

You know you’re in love when you reach out to hold your woman’s hand, without remembering that her hands are full because you insisted she carry all the groceries out to the car.

(1982 – ) American author

I’m not only Iranian, I’m also Jewish, and I know what you’re thinking… you’re thinking, ‘Wow, he’s Iranian and Jewish; I don’t know if I should hate him or hate him.’

American standup-comedian

Cheerfulness: The art of concealing your true feelings.

Love is what you make it; unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment.

(1982 – ) American author

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

I fear no man, but the dentist.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion

We have nothing to fear but fear itself… and of course the boogieman.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign

Love and eggs are best when they are fresh.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years… then we met.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician