Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Emotions
(Page 13)
If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions
Happiness
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Anonymous
Anger
Characteristics
Emotions
Depression
I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Mitch Hedberg
(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Anger
Emotions
Girlfriends
The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Happiness
Intelligence
Money
Poverty
Wealth
Convictions
Foolish
The whisper of a pretty girl can be heard further than the roar of a lion.
Arab proberb
Emotions
Proverbs
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein
(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Emotions
Love
People
Gravitation
Anyone who says, 'You had to be there,' should just not have told you the thing in the first place because it's not funny.
Paul Tompkins
(1968 – ) American actor & comedian
Communication
Laughter
Situations
Humor
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and by then it was too late.
Max Kaufman
typographer
Emotions
Happiness
Marriage
I loathe people who keep dogs; they are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
August Strindberg
(1849 – 1912) Swedish writer
Animals
Dogs
Emotions
Biting
Hate
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions
Laughter
People
Self
Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
Jane Wagner
(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer
Emotions
Intelligence
Reality
Love looks through a telescope, envy through a microscope.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions
Love
I hope they bury me near a straight man.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Death
Emotions
Buried
Humor
The funniest thing about some people is that they have no sense of humor.
Ashleigh Brilliant
(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Emotions
People
Humor
He's like, 'Caroline, you've got a cavity,' and I'm like, 'I know – and I'd like you to fill it.'
Caroline Rhea
(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
Emotions
Sex
To her 'hot' dentist
Love is the only industry which can't operate on a five-day week.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions
Love
Time
Work
Are you so unobservant that you do not yet realize that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics
Emotions
Happiness
Impossible
Sanity
Somebody once said that laughter is the best medicine, and that was clearly written by a man that never tried Vicodin.
Wayne Federman
(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Activities
Drugs
Emotions
Health
Laughter
Medicine
Men love war because it allows them to look serious… it is the one thing that stops women laughing at them.
John Robert Fowles
(1926 – 2005) English novelist & essayist
Conflict
Emotions
Laughter
Men
People
War
Women
Your picture's in my wallet and I'm sitting on it – if that isn't love I don't know what is.
Larry Linville
(1939 – 2000) American actor
Love
As Frank Burns in TV’s “M*A*S*H”
Picture
Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
Samuel Butler
(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Government
Laughter
People
Page 13 of 23
« First
« Previous
11
12
13
14
15
Next »
Last »