Subject: Emotions (Page 9)

You know you’re in love when you reach out to hold your woman’s hand, without remembering that her hands are full because you insisted she carry all the groceries out to the car.

(1982 – ) American author
Emotions Love

They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian; well, they’re not laughing now.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Emotions Entertainment Laughter People

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Emotions Fear

Humor is reason gone mad.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Emotions

I know what love is ‘cuz’ I watch talk shows… love is the end of happiness!

(1944 – ) American actor, director & producer
Emotions Love TV/Movie Quotes

To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector; and just as I suspected, my machine was broken.

(1982 – ) American author
Emotions Love Situations

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Emotions People

I’m in love with a philosophy major, and she doesn’t even know I exist – and worse… she can prove it.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Emotions Intelligence Love Situations

Ernie Irvan could go bear hunting with a switch. He ain't never afraid.

American auto racer
Auto racing Emotions Fear Sports

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
Emotions Government Law Lawyers Marriage

My wife put a mirror over our bed; she says she likes to watch herself laugh.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Emotions Laughter Sex

I have no problem with homophobia; as long as they do it behind closed doors.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Fear Sex

Love will make you move all the way across the country and sell all your shit… just to get away from that person.

(1967 – ) is an American comedian & actor
Emotions Love Things

Never laugh at your significant other when they're having an orgasm; that is their time to shine.

(1983 – ) American comedian
Emotions Laughter Sex

A man in love is like a clipped coupon… it's time to cash in.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Love Men People

I know of nothing more laughable than a doctor who does not die of old age.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Doctors Emotions Health

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don’t seem to know what real pain is; I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Emotions Men Success Women

Saving love doesn't bring any interest.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Love Money

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Emotions Husbands Love Marriage

I remember what I was doing the first time I told someone I loved them… I was lying to get sex.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Emotions Love Sex Situations

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Emotions Entertainment Laughter People