Subject: Entertainment » Music (Page 3)

Real country music is lying on the floor with that bottle of Jack Daniel's by your side 'cause a woman's gone and walked across your heart like a Samoan man in golf shoes.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician

Lloyd Webbers music is everywhere… but so is AIDS.

(1931 – 2003) Australian composer

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director

There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together; the public doesn’t give a damn what goes on inbetween.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

Jazz: Music invented by demons for the torture of imbeciles.

(1852 – 1933) author, educator & clergyman

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Watch out where the huskies go, and don’t you eat that yellow snow.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director

Ladies and gentlemen, I've suffered for my music… now it's your turn.

(1944 – ) English actor, musician & comic writer

Berlioz, musically speaking, is a lunatic; a classical composer only in Paris, the great city of quacks.

I am playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

(1926 – 1984) English comedian

Never look at the trombones; you’ll only encourage them.

(1864 – 1949) German composer

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Accordian: An instrument inharmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

If you're gonna blame teen sex on rock 'n' roll, why don't we just blame incest on country and western?

comedian

The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author

When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like.

American author

We are not used to playing the kind of venues that don't have a drain in the middle of the floor.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician

I don’t mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don’t understand.

(1892 – 1965) English physicist

I can’t listen to that much Wagner… I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung up by its tail outside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws.

(1821 – 1867) French poet, essayist & art critic